It had been a sunny and tiring day. Reuben kicked the stick on the ground as he maneuvered his way through the bushes back to where he left his brothers. Their conversation earlier, when Joseph brought them lunch, had been intolerable. Why would they want to kill the poor boy? How could they imagine such a heinous act? If papa liked him more than the rest, how was that Joseph’s fault? He was glad, though, he was able to prevail over them to throw him in the pit. He knew he would go back and rescue him after they would all have gone home.

He hiked up his robe and crossed the stream. Then it hit him. He shouldn’t have left his brothers alone. He didn’t even know why he came into the bush in the first place. He hastened his steps. He felt a strange foreboding that something wasn’t right. Suddenly, he started running.

As he got closer to them, he stopped. He would check the pit first before joining them.

And he checked. And Joseph was not there!

He was enraged. He was heartbroken. He tore his clothes and wept. He blamed himself for leaving them alone. He should have known. He sensed something wasn’t alright while he loafed about in the woods. Where is the lad? What have they done to him? He ran to his brothers.

“Joseph is not in the pit!” He panted as he spoke. “He is not there!”

Simeon kept himself busy with the roasted yam Naphtali just prepared. Asher moved away trying to avoid any altercation. Levi looked at him bewildered. Dan wouldn’t understand why his big brother was angry and crying like a baby. “Why is your cloth torn? What happened to you?” Zebulun asked.

“The lad is no more; and I, where shall I go?” He screamed at them.

“But, that was the plan. Why are you sad and surprised?” Judah spoke up and his other brothers stood behind him. He was the outspoken of the lot.

“What do you mean ‘where shall you go?’ We go home of course! And we will tell the old man the story just as we cooked it. What’s up with you bro?” Judah wasn’t relenting.

“Snap out of it, Reuben. Let’s go home, please.” Issachar moved closer to him and patted him on the back. “You will be fine. We are in this together.”

Reuben collapsed on the floor, buried his head in his hands and wept. He was devastated. Joseph was no more. What would happen to him? He was his brother. He was his keeper. He had responsibility to protect him. It was his charge to keep him safe. What would he tell his father? How would he look at papa in the face? How could he have been so irresponsible? Why did he leave their vicinity in the first place? Too many questions. He should have stayed back. And to think that he couldn’t even lay hands on what he went away to do. Reuben suffered.

Wait a minute, Reuben. Slow down.

You fulfilled and completed your assignment.

You stopped them from killing him.

That was all you had to do.

Slow down, Reuben.

You would have stopped destiny if you had stayed back.

You would have sabotaged purpose if you had not left.

He was preplanned to be sold.

Slow down, Reuben.

Stop beating yourself up for nothing.

It was never in your power to make him be with you.

There was a higher call, a bigger plan.

Slow down, Reuben.

The Ishmaelites were on their way according to plan.

You would have been in the way contrary to plan.

So, He sent you away that He may achieve His plan.

Slow down, Reuben!

You had your role, you played it.

Judah had his role, he played it.

Slow down, Reuben!!

He places people in our lives at different stages of our lives to fulfill His purpose and plans. He positions them strategically to carry out His dictates. But when your bit is done, don’t beat yourself up. The fact that you got him to this level doesn’t mean you would be responsible for the next level. The fact that you were very instrumental to his arriving here does not mean you will be featuring in all the scenes in the script. After Reuben, there’s a Judah. After Judah, there’s a Potiphar. After Potiphar, there’s a Potiphar’s wife. There’s a prison, there is a baker, there’s a cup bearer and there’s a palace. It’s a long line of characters. It’s a holistic plan. He has it all worked out. He wrote the script.

I know your heart, Reuben. I know how you don’t want harm to come near him. I know how responsible and generous you are. You take the position and privileges he has bestowed on you to be a blessing. You are grateful for what He has given you. You want to help. Your love is endearing. When you see a need you rise up to it. When you find a helpless soul, your antennae just shoot up. You spend and you are spent. God knows you, Reuben. He knows what He put inside you. It’s not happenstance He had to send you on errand. Your passion was going overboard, you were going to thwart His plan.

Reuben, know that you are only a part of the team, you are not the dream. Stop beating yourself up, man. You are a character in the play, you are not all the casts. You don’t have to tear your clothes. You don’t have to mourn his absence. So when He makes the next move and it’s beyond your control, don’t ask, ‘where shall I go?’ Because it is not about you. Go home, relax and trust the process. If He wants Joseph to be sold, Joseph will be sold, even if He has to move you out of the scene for the negotiation to happen.

Do not make your generosity become a cage that would not allow your Joseph to fulfill purpose. Do not take responsibility for that which is entirely out of your hands to do. Love is not choking. Be careful that you are not the one holding him down after you have successfully pushed him up. You should learn to let Joseph go when it’s time. He is grateful for his Reuben season, but he is hopeful there’s a Potiphar season ahead. And Potiphar season may not be exciting, it may look a disappointment, but it is part of the process. You may not be able to shield him from every mishap.

Joseph has to be sold. Joseph is needed in Potiphar’s house. Joseph has to go to prison. And in all these stages, you don’t feature. Slow down, Reuben.

I know how we can be territorial sometimes. We sit upon the help we have rendered. We keep them in close proximity. They are like laurels that we want to constantly keep in sight. Sometimes we line them up and admire them. I did this for Tayo, I did that for Caleb.  I was responsible for Ugo’s admission, I paid Abdul’s hospital bill, and I was responsible for his first trip abroad. And you want them around always, like trophies you like to show off. You feel responsible for everything and anything about them. We can be territorial.

How accepting can we be if they no longer are needy, of us, that is? How compliant can we be when they try to move on to their next season and you don’t feature in it? They are not ungrateful, they are not thankless, destiny only called for the next level. And they are only a character in the big picture. Reuben, be amenable. Allow.

And to my Josephs, when God sends your Reubens on errands, don’t fuss. Joseph didn’t. When he moves them aside, don’t gripe and complain. Joseph didn’t.

I know there’s a tendency to idolize helpers, people who have played major roles in your life at one time or the other. They were there when all hell was breaking lose and there were storms left, right and center. That God used them to rescue you and you were not killed doesn’t mean he is obligated to come get you out of the pit. Be careful not to camp there around the help. It isn’t safe to conclude they are going to be there forever. He could send them on errands that they may not even have control over. If you were meant to be sold, trust the process. Free your Reubens. Allow them breathe. Let go and let God.

May God find a Reuben in us. And may we all be grateful Josephs.

Genesis 37:30 “Then he went back to his brothers and lamented, “The boy is gone! What will I do now?”