𝗦𝗲𝗲-𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗵 in literal terms means to have seen a person completely and there is nothing more to see, nothing left to be awed by, intrigued by, or thrilled by. Put simply, they have finished seeing you. They say, it’s See-finish that turns ‘Good morning’ to ‘How far?’ And it’s See-finish that turns ‘Boss’ to “Bro.”

In marriage or any love relationship, 𝗦𝗲𝗲-𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗵 is a situation where the continuous repetition of your nuances, first works, expressions, catch-phrases no longer creates the fireworks-effect it caused at the beginning of the relationship. See-finish is a state whereby love ensnares you to let lose your guards and be vulnerable and after a while your vulnerability is taken for granted and sometimes used against you.

Once upon a time, they identified with your imperfections, they treated your limitations with holy respect, and they shared in your struggles. But after a while, they got familiar with you and all the awe and reverence, all the admiration and veneration, fizzled out. Familiarity bred contempt, they 𝘚𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩.‘

𝗦𝗲𝗲-𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗵 is that phase you get to in your relationship, as a result of closeness, where you become predictable. They know where you will be, what you will say and when you will act. They can tell how you will react yo a joke or argument, and preempt exactly who you will support in a debate or fight. They recognize when you procrastinate. They spot even when you lie. All that knowledge didn’t come to them by witchcraft, it came because they got close to you and you got vulnerable with them. At first, such knowledge was endearing. I mean, you were glad she was the only one in a sea of many other friends who knew you that well. You were happy he was the only one who knew what tickles you. But overtime, in a relationship or marriage, such knowledge could become weapons of scorn. They could become sneering tools that make your partner withdraw into their shell. It eventually kills intimacy.

𝗦𝗲𝗲-𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗵 can strip essence out of any relationship.
‘I love your sense of humour’ after a while becomes ‘now everything is a joke to you.’
‘I like the way you take your time’ after a while becomes ‘you are just too slow for my liking.’
‘You are such a go-getter’ after a while becomes ‘you have to choose between this marriage and your career.’
‘You always go the extra mile for people’ after a while becomes ‘don’t you have anything important to do with your time?’
‘You really dress well’ after a while becomes ‘you are too extravagant; you spend all your money on clothes!’
The same qualities or character traits they used to admire after a while become apparatus to tackle you and diss you.

Strangers hardly fall into the category of people we take for granted. It’s those we fraternize with that we are susceptible to disrespecting. See-finish is a close relative of any form of friendship; it comes with the territory. 𝗜𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝗺 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘂𝗽 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴. It is those you’ve drawn into your cocoon that you are likely going to burn. They have been brave enough to be vulnerable with you and after a while you 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩’ Love somewhat become like water, soft enough to cleanse you but powerful enough to drown you.

It takes deliberate effort, outright commitment, and dogged determination to continue to stay awed by the same person year after year. To still keep the mystery about him/her after the initial 𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑔𝑟𝑎 has worn off is no child’s play. To See-finish comes easy and naturally. To not See-finish would take effort and willpower. The tendencies would come, the temptations would be strong, but romantic love must transition into committed love at some point for See-finish not to happen.

On the flip side is also an important task to work at not being a prey to 𝗦𝗲𝗲-𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗵. How?

Still keep some mystery about you. As odd as that may sound in a love relationship, it’s important. It is not about being secretive, it’s about being creative, productive, and dynamic. Always improving, always refining, always having more to unravel, always creating more to explore. Never stagnant, never mundane. Tweaking and fine-tuning, a firm resolution to keep stepping up your game. Like apps on your phone, periodic updates, constant upgrade, so the that you don’t get stuck being a Blackberry in an era of smartphones.

One of the many things that keep a relationship/marriage vibrant is having something to look forward to. The fact that there’s so much to do and unravel together. That you two are about something bigger than you. It is what keeps the fire burning. Find ways of tweaking regularly what you have. Have tasks and goals you desire to see accomplish. And when you accomplish one, enjoy the victory but ensure you don’t rest on your laurels, create another.
Stay adventurous. Embrace spontaneity. Keep updating. Keep upgrading.

Why would the Bible say, Sing a 𝗻𝗲𝘄 song unto the Lord? Because monotony is boring. God can “Put a 𝗻𝗲𝘄 song in your mouth.” (Psalm 40:3.) And His blessings, His creativity, productivity, are 𝗻𝗲𝘄 every morning. Be like your Father, be creative.

Don’t 𝑆𝑒𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑠ℎ and don’t settle to a point where they 𝑆𝑒𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑠ℎ.