Certain things are way too precious and too valuable to compromise in your search for a mate or for love. It is ridiculous to lose you just in a bid to make another love you. Love was never meant to be a burden. Love was not meant to do you in.

A relationship that takes away your sense of dignity and makes you feel less than you are is not ideal and is definitely not Gods plan for you. I don’t care how much they profess they love you, I don’t care how much material gifts they shower on you, the question remains, is this making you better or is this choking or taking away your essence and purpose?

Abuse creeps in on you slowly you would hardly notice. It’s packaged so neatly you could mistake it as affection. It’s cancerous. It is invasive. Once it starts, it never stops. Once condoned, it only grows. It could be wrapped in diverse coats of friendliness with a semblance of care that you cannot figure. It makes you become a game for another’s controlling habits. But love is never confusing, love is never uncertain.

Abuse can get you to a place where you begin to justify the abuser’s actions by making excuses for them. It gets you to a point where you conclude you are the problem. You believe you are the reason they shout at you. You believe you are the reason they snap at you. You believe you are the reason they misbehave. You are the problem in the relationship. Your self-esteem drops to an all-time low. How did you get here?

They starve you of attention but they dish it out in generous measures to others. They belittle your successes but are quick to spot your failings. They ignore your needs and draw attention to your weaknesses. They intentionally do things they so well know you don’t like and push your past in your face when you complain. They disregard your opinions, they ridicule your ideas.

You are constantly frightened when they are around you. You are forever under a siege to satisfy their inordinate requests. You are stripped of friends and friendships that are dear to you. You are threatened when you complain, you are shushed if you dare disapprove. How did you get here? How? How did you become like this?

No you were never like this. You were way better than this. You had color, you had flavors. Many of us flocked around you because you always always had positive vibes. You had that pull that that made people want to know you. Your laughter was so infectious, you had so bright a light it was blinding. Always encouraging, always engaging, always confident, always helpful. Come on, you were better than this. You used to be confident. You used to be happy.

They came and your light suddenly go dim? That can’t be right. Love should bring out the best in us. Is this the best of you? The you we see now is a sharp contrast of what you used to be. You were never like this.

Stop! Stop now! Stop this before it completely drowns and stops you.

Stop.

Seek help.

This is help.