It’s okay if I get back from work and my neighbour asks me, ‘How was your day?’  and I say ‘Fine.’ Or I run into a friend and he asks, ‘How was your day?’ They don’t deserve much and they are not even demanding for much. ‘Fine’ would be a satisfactory answer.

Ten out of ten times when we attempt to start a conversation with our spouse when we return from work in the evening, we ask, ‘How was your day?’ And ten out of ten times they reply, ‘Fine.’ End of conversation.

The question is close ended. It is so weak to start a quality conversation with your partner. Unless you want a monosyllabic answer, ‘How was your day?’ will not help you. If ‘fine’ or ‘great’ is not the answer you are hoping to get, then you would need to hit specifics. If a quality conversation is what you hope to initiate, then you should do better than ‘How was your day?’

Even if he/she is not in the mood to talk, specifics would get them to download.

So what are the better ways to make your partner download how their day has been?

1. How did your meeting go? Was everyone present? Who was absent?
2. Did you work away from the office today? Where?
3. Share with me the details of your interaction with _____________
4. What did you spend money on today?
5. Who made you laugh today?
6. Tell me one thing you wished you did differently today.
7. When are they expecting you in to bring the proposal?
8. Did _________ call as he promised?
9. What did you have for lunch? Where did you have lunch?
10. Did anyone get on your nerves today?
11. What part of your day was most productive?
12. What did you do or where did you go today that was not expected?
13. Was _______________ in the office today?
14. Did they bring the supply?
15. Tell me the acts of service you did today and the one that made you really proud.
16. Were you able to turn in the report?
17. What was the highlight of your day? Tell me what and how it happened.
18. Share the down moment you had today with me.

These should open up conversations and encourage story-telling. Be aware each of the above should lead into other questions and generate longer conversations.

Keep talking. Keep communicating.

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