Marital Phase Assessment Δ
The Marital Phase Assessment
Personal Information Personal Information
Instructions This quiz will help you identify which of the four key phases your marriage is currently in: Learning, Pushing, Settling, or Growing, and the specific stage within that phase.
Be honest with your responses. There are no right or wrong answers, only insights. Ensure you are in a calm and unhurried state before taking this assessment.
Read each statement carefully. For each statement, rate how true it feels in your current marriage using the following scale:
1 - Not at all true
2 - Rarely true
3 - Sometimes true
4 - Often true
5 - Very true
1. I am curious about understanding my partner's background and experiences.
2. We have regular conversations about each other’s expectations.
3. I feel eager to learn what makes my partner feel loved.
4. I ask questions rather than make assumptions.
5. I am open to discovering new ways of making our relationship work.
6. I am willing to adjust my habits to improve our connection.
7. We’re learning to compromise without resentment.
8. I’m practicing patience while we both figure things out.
9. We talk about what’s working and what needs improvement.
10. I recognize my partner is different from me, and I’m learning to adapt.
11. I’m becoming more self-aware within the marriage.
12. I understand how my past affects how I relate in this marriage.
13. I’m actively trying to become a better partner.
14. We are developing shared values and goals.
15. I feel like our personal growth is part of our marital journey.
16. I feel the need to speak up about unmet needs.
17. I’ve been asking for more attention, time, or effort.
18. I find myself constantly reminding my spouse about changes that need to happen.
19. We are having disagreements on several issues ranging from finance to parenting to life goals and sex.
20. I am not willing to continue without some changes.
21. I’ve made clear requests for change in our relationship, using different methods like conversations, books, counselling, couples' group meetings, etc
22. We are trying to negotiate how to meet each other’s needs.
23. I sometimes feel like I’m pushing harder than my partner and sometimes feel exhausted from trying to get my partner to commit more.
24. I notice some progress, but it feels inconsistent.
25. We have tough conversations to try and resolve tension.
26. I still believe change is possible and worth pursuing.
27. I’ve considered seeking help (therapy, coaching, etc.).
28. I’m reevaluating how much I can keep pushing.
29. I want a better version of this marriage and I’m still working for it.
30. I’m deciding if we can move forward together or apart.
31. I’ve stopped expecting significant change in our relationship.
32. I feel emotionally drained by our repeated issues and no longer have the energy to push for improvement.
33. I often avoid confrontation or conflict to keep the peace.
34. I’ve become numb to things that used to upset me.
35. I no longer believe change is likely; I am locked in neutral when my needs are met and indifferent when my needs are not met.
36. We live together, but it feels more like cohabitation than a partnership.
37. We avoid deep or vulnerable conversations; our conversations have become routine and transactional.
38. I mostly focus on other areas of life like work, children, other friendships, and passions, rather than our relationship.
39. I’ve lowered my expectations in the marriage because I am tired of getting disappointed.
40. There’s minimal emotional or romantic connection. However, to several people, we look like the ideal couple and have the appearance of a happy marriage but it is a position we have perfected for the public and for ‘peace's sake.’
41. I’m contemplating if this marriage still aligns with my needs.
42. I’m weighing whether I can live with things as they are.
43. I’ve made peace with some things I know won’t change.
44. I think about what life might look like if I were not in this marriage.
45. I’ve accepted this version of our marriage, for better or worse.
46. We’ve both realized there’s more to learn about loving each other well.
47. We reflect on past experiences to improve how we relate.
48. We’re more intentional about understanding each other.
49. I feel like we’re entering a new chapter of growth.
50. We’re beginning to ask deeper questions about our marriage.
51. We actively apply tools, insights, or teachings to grow our relationship.
52. We seek support or knowledge that strengthens our union.
53. We check in regularly to see how we’re doing as partners, intentionally seek ways to love and support each other.
54. We handle conflicts with understanding rather than blame or avoidance, giving each other the freedom to express thoughts, feelings, and concerns openly and constructively.
55. We work as a team to overcome challenges.
56. Our relationship feels like a space where we both thrive, embracing new insights and strategies to keep our love strong.
57. We feel fulfilled and joyful together.
58. We celebrate each other’s growth and successes.
59. We inspire others by how we love and relate.
60. I feel we are constantly evolving, together and individually.
Submit Form
