Marital Phase Assessment Δ
The Marital Phase Assessment
Personal Information Personal Information
Instructions
Ensure you are in a calm and unhurried state before taking this assessment.
Note that the statements are not asking for what you wish or pray for or what you desire to be or hope your marriage would be.
The assessment requires you to HONESTLY respond based on how you are mentally and emotionally in the marriage and what you believe the state of the marriage is.
Answer truthfully for the most accurate reflection of your marriage phase.
Read each statement carefully and rate how much you agree with it using the scale below:
5 - Strongly Agree
4 - Agree
3 - Neutral
2 - Disagree
1 - Strongly Disagree
1. I actively seek resources (books, counselling, courses) to improve my marriage.
2. I am open to learning new ways to communicate better with my spouse.
3. I take responsibility for my role in the relationship and look for ways to improve.
4. I see marriage as a continuous learning process rather than something that should just work on its own.
5. We have regular date nights and maintain shared activities.
6. I try to understand my spouse’s perspective before reacting emotionally.
7. I am willing to adjust my approach when I realize there’s a better way to relate to my spouse.
8. I listen to my spouse’s concerns with an open mind and a willingness to change.
9. I seek advice from mentors, counselors, or experienced couples to learn from their experiences.
10. I make conscious efforts to avoid past mistakes and grow from them.
11. I appreciate when my spouse tries to improve, and I encourage them positively.
12. My spouse gives me the freedom to express my thoughts, feelings, and concerns.
13. I am eager to discover new ways to nurture love and intimacy in our marriage.
14. I can freely express how I feel about a situation to my spouse without fear of judgement or fear of being ignored.
15. I regularly reflect on my personal growth and how it affects my marriage.
16. I often encourage my spouse to be more involved in improving our marriage.
17. I feel like I am the one making the most effort to strengthen our relationship.
18. I find myself constantly reminding my spouse about changes that need to happen.
19. 19. We have had a fair share of unresolved fights and conflicts.
20. I sometimes feel like my spouse does not prioritize our marriage as much as I do.
21. I try different ways—conversations, books, counseling—to get my spouse to engage more.
22. We are having disagreements on several issues ranging from finance to parenting to life goals and sex.
23. I frequently feel frustrated that my spouse is not making the same level of effort.
24. I often think about how much better our marriage would be if my spouse took action.
25. I sometimes feel exhausted from trying to get my spouse to commit more to growth.
26. I believe our marriage has great potential, but I feel like I’m the only one working towards it.
27. I feel disappointed when my spouse does not respond to my efforts to make things better.
28. I use persuasion, encouragement, and even ultimatums to get my spouse to act because I cannot continue to keep quiet about things that bother me.
29. I feel like I am constantly fighting for the relationship while my spouse is indifferent.
30. I remain hopeful that my persistence will eventually bring about positive change.
31. I have stopped expecting anything or any changes from my spouse. I am locked in neutral when my needs are met and indifferent when my needs are not met.
32. I feel emotionally drained and no longer have the energy to push for improvement.
33. I have accepted my spouse’s behavior, even when it frustrates me.
34. I avoid conflict because I feel like it won’t lead to real solutions.
35. I feel like my spouse and I are just coexisting rather than deeply connecting.
36. I have emotionally withdrawn from my spouse which is why our conversations have become routine and transactional, lacking depth and intimacy.
37. To several people, we look like the ideal couple, and have the appearance of a happy marriage but it is a position we have perfected for the public and for ‘peace's sake’
38. I feel more like a roommate than a romantic partner to my spouse.
39. I no longer initiate conversations about relationship issues because they seem pointless.
40. To cope with dissatisfaction, I now focus on my work, the children, other friendships, and passions, anything that takes my attention away from the marriage.
41. I avoid deep discussions about our relationship because they often lead nowhere.
42. I feel resigned to accepting my marriage as it is, even if it’s not what I hoped for.
43. I sometimes wonder if my spouse even notices that I have stopped trying.
44. I feel indifferent about whether my spouse changes or not.
45. I have let go of certain expectations because I am tired of being disappointed.
46. My spouse and I are both committed to continuously improving our marriage.
47. We see challenges as opportunities to learn and grow together.
48. We intentionally seek ways to love and support each other better.
49. We openly discuss what is working in our marriage and what needs improvement.
50. We actively engage in activities (e.g., counseling, courses, books) that strengthen our bond.
51. We encourage and appreciate each other’s efforts to grow in the relationship.
52. We celebrate progress, no matter how small, in our marriage.
53. We handle conflicts with understanding rather than blame or avoidance, giving each other the freedom to express thoughts, feelings, and concerns openly and constructively.
54. We embrace new insights and strategies to keep our love strong.
55. We see our marriage as a lifelong journey of mutual growth and learning.
56. We set and pursue goals together, both personally and as a couple.
57. We prioritize emotional, mental, and spiritual growth as a couple.
58. We have regular date nights and maintain shared activities.
59. We communicate openly and honestly, even about difficult topics, actively working towards making our marriage more fulfilling every day.
60. We have a marital coach
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