10 Practical ways you can be courteous in your marriage

10 powerful courteous gestures to keep your marriage vibrant

When Gabriel was sent to Mary, she was so thoroughly shaken, absolutely awed that she wondered what it was that would make the King of Glory pay the littlest attention to her.

I believe God singled out Mary. He chose Mary. Amongst many maidens and virgins at that time, Mary was the one God picked.

I believe also God prepared Mary for this assignment. I mean, she was wired for it. Over the years, all through her life, she was gussied up for this time. It wasn’t happenstance. God didn’t just wake up one morning and said, ‘Oh, there goes Mary, let’s use her!’ God knew before time.

I also believe God was sure Mary could handle it. It wasn’t going to be fun; shame and humiliation would be part of the package but she would handle it. How else would you explain to anyone how you got pregnant and claim you have known no man?! Any other girl would buckle but God knew Mary would not. She was no ordinary girl.

So God knew. He knew Mary was prepared. He knew Mary would not refuse. He could have just gone ahead and implemented the plan. But He didn’t.

He deemed it fit to tell Mary first. God deemed it fit to send Gabriel to Mary to tell her what He, God, was about to do. Unbelievable! God thought it necessary, considered it important that Mary had to be told first! Amazing!

God didn’t lord it over her. He didn’t push it in her face. He didn’t take her for granted. So He summoned Gabriel, booked his flight down to Bethlehem and gave him directives. He instructed him to accommodate any questions, queries or concerns she might have about this plan. He treated her like a lady.

I don’t know whether you quite feel me on this one. The Lord of the Universe, the Master of All, King of Glory, the One who owns the day and night, the One who sets the borders of the earth, makes summer and winter saw it appropriate to inform Mary, as in ‘little insignificant Mary’. Was He seeking her permission? No, I don’t think so. Was He needing her participation? Yes, I think so.

Let’s put it down to one sentence, God was courteous. He doesn’t wield his power and authority in your face or shove His plan down your throat. He is very courteous.

I said all that to arrive here: We were thought simple courteous words back in elementary school. Words like, Please, Thank You, May I, etc. But when we get into a relationship or marriage, we realize, we need more than these for our relationships to work.

The following niceties will never grow old and they will never run out of fashion.

So here are my courteous gestures that can assure us you have your manners in proper place.

1. Even if you can’t pull out a chair for her (and I wonder why), let her sit down first whenever you get to the event. It’s just courteous.

2. I know my money is yours, but before you open my wallet in the room and take those naira or dollar bills, could you tell me first? I know you know I will not refuse, regardless, just let me know.

3. Make that call when you know you will be arriving home late. I know you’re the Commander in Chief of the house; it’s just simply thoughtful when you do. And while still on this point, when you say you will call, please call. It’s not rocket science, it’s just a phone call.

4. Do you need to use my car for the day? Very well. Just fill the tank when you are done. I know you know I can afford to buy my own gas; it’s just genteel when you do that.

5. I sense you may still be drowsy as you get off bed in the morning. But a Good Morning greeting just before you set out for the day won’t hurt a fly. #justsaying

6. And can you, please, look at me when we talk? Your phone, or tablet, isn’t more important than me, is it?

7. When we are in that conversation, whether friendly battering or that ‘we need to talk’ moment, and your phone suddenly beeps signifying an incoming call, please be well-mannered enough to ask first before you answer. Don’t just make a dash for it, like your life depended on it, and cut me dead. I know it’s the US President calling you, just ask to be excused before you answer.

8. Please dear, I beg you, I know all I have is yours and all you have, I believe, is mine, but when you borrow money from me, please pay back, abeg. Have some respect, please, and pay back. See, grand gestures are sometimes unnecessary and it seems little things don’t really count, but if you take time to notice, we actually count these little things.

9. A random phone call, a casual text message, just for fun, just to check up on me, just to show that you’re thinking of me, just to say sweet nothings, just the way you did while we were dating, remember? It still works magic. Never forget.

10. ……………………………………………………………………( I leave this space for you)

Fill in some of your courtesy gestures in the comment box under this post as number ten. Be my guest.

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Photocredit: Mitun Dada

Written by juwonodutayo

Writer. Tutor. Speaker. Blogger. Roger Federer Fan.

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