Nabal was a great man. His possessions were in Carmel. He had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats. He sheared his sheep in Carmel. He was of the house of Caleb. He lived in prosperity. Nabal was rich, Nabal was influential. Nabal was a prominent and a prestigious man.
Abigail was a woman of good understanding and a woman of beautiful appearance. Abigail was beauty and brains. The type of girl who was smart and intelligent and brilliant and curvy and regal and sexy. She had form and she had funds. The type of girl that made you laugh a little louder, smiled a little bigger and lived a little better. Abigail was sweet as candy and intelligent as octopus.
Nabal was harsh and evil in his doings. Abigail was kind and understanding in her doings. Nothing inferred any attraction between these two (and that possibly could have been reason for attraction.)
Great men do marry beautiful women. Their greatness, don’t get it twisted, is largely in possessions and properties than it is in values or character. Their greatness is more akin to investments and wealth than it is in morals and standards. And such great men, in their cruelty and harshness still end up marrying kind and caring women. Nabals still marry Abigails.
The same skill and expertise explored in amassing wealth, they deploy in the choice of their spouse. They are smart and sharp, they are witty and cunning. Nabals don’t go for Deborahs or Delilahs, they go for Abigails. They go for women of good understanding, they go for those who combine brain and beauty delicately. They go for such women that would manage the home front and handle affairs in their absence. They go for women who resolve issues and cover up their many follies. They are aware of what they lack in character they make up for it in the choice of their wives. Nabals still marry Abigails.
They marry Abigails who stand in the gap no matter how grave their Nabals’ goof. Abigails who mediate and negotiate for the life of their Nabals in the face of terror and opposition. Abigails who stay the hand of the enemy over their home. Abigails who would do anything to protect their own. When Nabals talk harshly, they don’t breathe down their necks. When he behaves rudely, she fixes it. They remain loyal to their Nabals to the very end. It would seem their cause and reason for existence is to keep and rescue their Nabal.
Nabals are not the best of men; they are evil in their doings, they have no regard for anyone. But they still manage to marry Abigails.
Have you met certain callous men and wondered how in the world they ended up with kind-hearted wives? Have you seen some unbelieving husbands and marveled what goodness their wives possibly saw in them? Have you noticed how intolerable some men are and their wives still carry on loving and supporting and caring and believing and smiling? Seen manipulative men marry very trusting wives? Or extremely overbearing men lord it over their docile wives? Nabals still marry Abigails.
Let Abigail be. If she has chosen Nabal to be her cause and cross, let her be. Stop swallowing painkillers for another’s headache.
Let Abigail be. If she continues to shine and thrive amidst the discomfort and embarrassment, let her be.
When she bakes her cake and bread, packs her wine and sheep, throws a feast and stand in the gap, let her be.
When she takes the blame and covers his tracks, calms nerves and defuses crisis, let her be.
Because eventually, Abigails get rescued, not in ways you deem or assume fit, but in ways God scripted and orchestrated.
Next time you run into a Nabal and Abigail combo, admire her courage, commend her strength of purpose, and lift a sister’s spirit up. You don’t have all the details.
So David sent ten young men to Nabal with a message of peace and a request to give them supplies. Nabal would answer and he said, “Who is David? And who is the son of Jesse? There be many servants nowadays that break away every man from his master.”
I Sam 25